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Do you have trouble telling people no even when you really don’t want to do something? You might be surprised by just how many people struggle with this issue. It isn’t always easy to tell someone no or to turn someone down when you want to be a kind person. However, it’s possible to be firm but kind so that you can take care of yourself while still caring about the feelings of others.

Be Honest

Being honest is going to be at the core of this philosophy. You shouldn’t be agreeing to things just because you desire to be considered a nice person. It is actually counterproductive to be overly nice when you’re working against your true desires. Instead, it’s going to be crucial to be honest about what you want and what your expectations are.

If you’re interacting with people and they ask something of you, it isn’t necessary to just shut them down in a very cold way. You can tell someone no without making it offensive or hurtful. Just simply let the individual know that you aren’t interested and that you have other plans or obligations that keep you from wanting to do whatever it is that he or she asked you to do. Once you get used to being honest with yourself, it’s going to be easier to keep things under control.

Being Firm Takes Practice

Being firm can take a bit of practice and it doesn’t come naturally to everyone. For example, you might worry about your tone and whether you were so firm that you offended someone. Just try to remember to approach things from a kind mindset without compromising your intentions. Your kindness should never override your need to be firm about whether you want to do something.

Sometimes it might be best to avoid being too kind during these exchanges if you’re worried about falling back into old habits. You might find better results if you keep things concise instead of letting a conversation drag on. Getting better at communicating can help to keep this from being an issue since you will understand how to gracefully exit a conversation. Practice being firm but kind and you should not have problems telling people no when necessary again.